Chaos is difficult and scary – and easy to avoid. That’s why many of us choose not to confront someone with our truth. Even when I know that my truth is just my set of beliefs, opinions and perspective, it can come off as a biting, confrontational attack that will likely create chaos in my life. So, I will choose to keep something to myself before going into the uncertainty of what may lie at the other end of chaos – even at the expense of the discontent and frustration I feel from staying put on this side of chaos. And, it becomes the familiar default to any hint of confrontation.
The shift is to take a risk into the other side of chaos – though a mystery, it is a place of discovery with opportunities for growth.
Here are 10 positive things you’ll find on the other side of chaos:
- I clear what is/has bothered me. That pit in my stomach that is triggered when I see you has miraculously disappeared – just by speaking my truth. Even if my truth does not land comfortably on you, I am relieved, and that is a start.
- You start to get me. By sharing my truth, you begin understanding me, who I am and what I believe, with more depth.
- I become aware of my role or responsibility. By going into the chaos, I have the opportunity to accept that things do not just happen to me, rather I have a part in attracting or creating what bothers me.
- With an open mind, your curiosity invites you to consider my point of view. Even when I own my judgements – which may or not be true – you can choose to accept them for yourself.
- I become more self-aware. I am actually connecting with myself at a deeper, more authentic level. And, with self-awareness, I make better decisions and relate more effectively with others.
- You can clear with me. Once in the chaos, it is easier (and timely) for you to take a turn and get out what bothers you.
- We connect. The discomfort of the chaos gets us more comfortable with each other.
- We have built trust between us. Many say that it takes time for trust to build, though it is how we behave with each other that co-creates trust. And, by going through the chaos together into a place of self- and shared discovery, we have co-created a bond of trust.
- We have created safety for richer engagement. The next time either of us is triggered by the other, it is safer for us to move into the chaos rather than hesitate.
- The more we welcome chaos, the more connected we become. Ultimately, we build a caring, supportive and authentic relationship.
Invite chaos as a gateway to growth and authentic connection.